Cohen (thinking): Look calm, Stu. How deep into the truth are you going to let this guy get . . . ?

(1) Patrick is fine. He’s just . . . on a mission. In Kuala Lumpur.
(2) I hurt Patrick so bad that he’s a box of dirt in my attic.
(3) I hurt Patrick so bad that he’s gone . . .

Cohen: A gentleman deserves to have his secrets.

Bennett: I don’t have secrets!

Cohen: What was that? I can’t hear you from so far back in that closet.

Bennett: Th-that’s different! I’m not keeping it secret from you. Even if I was, you probably would’ve figured it out by now. I am totally open and honest with you, mostly! Only my Being and God know more about me!

Does that mean anything to you? Are you even religious, or are you just one of those people who calls yourself Jewish because you know what mashugana means?

Cohen: . . .

Bennett: . . . Cohen? Stuart? Normally you laugh at me when I say things like that . . . I liked the laughing better!