Miranda (narrating): Dad was there for the funeral, but it was Patrick who got me through it.

After that, we were all living together, but Dad was still only around half the time.

Miranda’s father (on phone): Hey, sweetheart. I have a very important meeting in New York/Houston/Baltimore, so I won’t be able to be there for your horse show/birthday/middle school graduation.

Miranda (narrating): The rest of the time, he left me with Patrick.

Patrick: When do you want to see Pokemon: Lucario and the Mystery of Mew?

Miranda: I don’t! Pokémon’s boring when you live with a real live battle monster.

Miranda (narrating): And even when we did manage to spend time together, there were . . .

Miranda’s father: Mandy, I’m planning to visit Ann Walker while I’m in Chicago . . . Do you want to come along?

Miranda (narrating): . . . conflicts.

(STAB)

Miranda: Doesn’t that hurt?!

Patrick: They’re just scratches! Did you catch what I did to the other guy?

Miranda: Dad, how can you send him into fights when you know he’ll come out like this?

Miranda’s father: Settle down, Mandy. You have to remember that he’s not human.