Washington, D.C.:Where, in theory, people from all across the nation elect to send their best and brightest to solve problems and move their country forward.

Where, in practice, what we get instead is Congress.

Bennett: Passing this bill will only make the average American unhappy . . .

. . . as you can see in this very scientific diagram! I have another poster that shows the feelings of the average American if we reject this bill . . .

. . . which this helpful and entirely unknown-to-me page has just brought in.

Cybele, why are you disguising yourself as a congressional page?

Cybele: It’s a convenient disguise for staying near you at work without raising suspicion, boss! Plus, it would really scare up support for your Being-restricting legislation if you exposed how easily I fooled federal security!

Bennett: . . . I wish you had come up with this idea before I started caring more about you than I do about the bill.