But first, the usual adorableness from an eleven-inch Jon.

Why Jon found a lot to identify with in Ratatouille:

He eats a lot of foods that are prepared in small quantities or carved into fitting portions, but there’s no substitute for proper New York pizza. Even if it does take him a week to finish a slice.

“If we amplify everything…then we won’t be able to hear Tiny Jon.”

His final speech at the Rally involved a lot of pacing around on top of the podium.

And then there’s the dilemma he runs into with awards shows….

“Stephen! Help!”

“Oh, no. You said I wasn’t allowed to touch your Emmy any more, so I’m staying right over here.”

They really do get along, though. Which is how Stephen ends up taking Jon to a designer clothing store:

Clothes for tiny people used to be limited to manufacturer afterthoughts, which is how Jon got used to grey T-shirts and khakis all the time. Now that designers have started treating this as a legitimate market, Stephen is proud to be Jon’s ambassador into the world of fashion.

Or so he claims. Jon has a hunch Stephen just likes having an excuse to play dress-up.

The site also has new header images, updated to reflect the current cast. When I remembered that I’d downloaded the font “CNN”, I couldn’t resist trying it out in the logo.

Next step: working on images for the Colbert alter egos. Or maybe that should be filling out some of the scantier correspondent profiles? Or queuing up some of those Tiny Jon roundups? Or…

The gallery has also gotten a bunch of attention lately, at least. Do check it out, if you haven’t recently. Loads more images, awesome tags.

What follows is my reading of “Stephen”, Jon, and a few correspondents, as well as notes about other arguments TDS/TCR fandom has made along the way. (Hat tip to Lauren and Ashley for being particularly thoughtful.)

As usual, this is character analysis (as opposed to real-person psychoanalysis) unless otherwise noted.

“Stephen Colbert”

Let’s start with the obvious: Stephen is not nearly loyal or reliable enough to be a Hufflepuff, and so anti-intellectual and fact-allergic that Ravenclaw is right out.

There’s a lot to be said for putting him in Slytherin, much of it not good. His rhetoric lines right up with the reactionary traits and bigotry masquerading as tradition seen in old Slytherin families. (“Where do these Muggle-borns get off, taking jobs from hard-working pureblood wizards?”) He’s full of ambition, and willing to pursue it by whatever means necessary, as showcased in ventures like his 2008 presidential campaign: pandering to party leaders and the public alike, shamelessly plugging his sponsors, and not above using money in less-than-ethical ways. In the 2012 election season he’s stuck to throwing around unlimited anonymous cash, exploiting as many legal loopholes as he and lawyer Trevor Potter (no relation) can find.

On the other hand, Stephen’s not particularly cunning. Whenever a complication arises with his Super PAC, his strategy consists of “look sad and worried until Trevor reveals a piece of paper that fixes it.” His ability to think about things long-term or weigh their consequences is pretty much nil: after watching for a while, you get the sense that his ambition is based solely on a vague fantasy of “power = good.” It doesn’t help that he’s highly attuned to the direction and approval of higher authorities — from God to “Papa Bear” Bill O’Reilly to Santa Claus. If he ever got real power, he wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Now, the whole charge-right-in, guns-blazing, plan-what-plan? approach to life is totally Gryffindor. So is the “who needs subtlety when you can yell at things?” cornerstone of his philosophy. And then you get events like Operation Iraqi Stephen, which was — almost accidentally (certainly it took some last-minute coercion) — brave, even noble.

In spite of his greedy and self-serving impulses, one of Stephen’s core traits is the desire to do the right thing. The character is based on the improv archetype of the “well-intentioned, poorly-informed, high-status idiot” — emphasis here on “well-intentioned.” This isn’t necessarily true for real people with similar positions, but when Stephen takes a stand like opposition to gay library cards, it isn’t based on sly self-interest any more than it is on facts or fairness. It’s based on a sincere and true belief that society will be damaged if we violate the sanctity of traditional book-borrowing.

All this falls right in line with the Gryffindor tendency to see things in terms of heroes and villains. Slytherins see things in terms of power and influence, and are more likely to fall in with whoever seems to be winning at the time. Stephen does a certain amount of the latter (see his last-minute endorsement of Obama), but in general, there are Good Guys and Bad Guys and it is your Duty to side with the Good Guys. This shapes his loyalties (to America!), and is even visible in his betrayals, which he may see as loyalty to a higher principle. (For instance: turning on Jon…because he believes Jon is on the Wrong Path, and action must be taken to bring him back to Right.)

Honestly, I think this might be one of those situations where the Sorting Hat takes a while to think it over, until Stephen demands to be put in whichever House he’s already decided on. In which case, it depends entirely on how he perceives it. Are Slytherins a set of blue-blood old-money elitists, with Gryffindors the heroic salt-of-the-earth scrappers? Or are Gryffindors a bunch of rabble-rousing tree-hugging house-elf-liberating activists, while Papa Bear was a Slytherin and really, what more do you need to know?

One clue might come in the adventures of Tek Jansen, the Gary Stu character who reveals a lot about how Stephen sees himself. And Tek is basically a one-dimensional Gryffindor. He doesn’t care about power or influence, just blowing up the Bad Guys, as loudly and dramatically as possible.

Either way, it’s clear that Stephen’s House preference would be based on which one he thought was Best For the Wizarding World. Which means that, if the Sorting Hat left it up to him, it might be a Gryffindor trait that ultimately put him in Slytherin.

My final call: Gryffindor. He’s not cut out to be a Slytherin long-term, and I think the Sorting Hat would figure that out.

Daily Show Correspondents

None of the Stewartettes have as much consistent characterization as “Stephen”. As a group, I’d be inclined to call them a bunch of Slytherins, although not necessarily competent ones. Lots of jockeying for position, with each other and over Jon; lots of ruthlessly going after a story (and the personal status that comes with it).

There are a handful of correspondents and contributors that I’m up for calling individually, even though the traits involved may be abandoned when a segment calls for something different:

Jessica Williams only just arrived on the scene, but plays well to a certain kind of college-student “there is bad stuff in the world, and I’m going to do…something…about it!” unfocused sense of activism. Gryffindor.

John Hodgman is all about facts and expertise (made-up or not). Ditto for his distaff counterpart Sarah Vowell (with more obscure-but-true facts on her end). Ravenclaw.

Wyatt Cenac has a way with good-natured bumbling about, making friends and taking things in stride. Hufflepuff.

Kristen Schaal gets an ongoing focus on solidarity among women and fairness in general, with a bright-eyed conviction that we can totally rock this gender equality thing. Hufflepuff.

Larry Wilmore also focuses on fairness, but his approach is more dismayed-cynic with a talent for strategy. Plus, there’s his obvious glee in toying with Jon. Slytherin.

Olivia Munn also enjoys toying with Jon, and approaches the job with cunning self-interest. (This also dovetails with her career IRL, which involves a lot of non-flashy Endurance Of Things That Suck — see, writings about creepy sexist working conditions — in service of long-term goals.) Slytherin.

Jon Stewart

Since Jon of all the cast spends the most time as “himself” rather than taking on a character, fandom is more likely to think of him in terms of his real personality — complex, human, not reducible to literary archetypes. No surprise, he’s been fervently argued into all four Houses. He’s fair and hardworking! He’s smart and thoughtful! He’s cunning and influential! He’s brave and loyal! Which of these are his “core” or “defining” traits? Depends on who you ask.

Granted, when applied to actual people the concept is pretty dubious in the first place. But for entertainment’s sake, I’m going to take what we see of him in public and run with it.

It’s no big stretch to rule out Gryffindor. Even when Jon takes a gallant and principled stand, it’s in a more characteristically Hufflepuff way: well-planned and determined but not flashy or dramatic, appealing to basic fairness and decency rather than hero-complex savior imagery.

Slytherin, too, doesn’t really fit. He shies away from any suggestion of personal power like it’s an allergen; when there’s someone he truly dislikes, he’s not exactly subtle; and his thoughtfulness is applied too straightforwardly to be called cunning. When it comes to guests who disagree with him, he approaches them like a Ravenclaw: a basic interest in getting the facts right.

(You’ll notice that he’s come down as the exact opposite of “Stephen”, which helps explain why the two play off each other so well.)

On the Hufflepuff side, then, we have hard work and a constant interest in fairness. Related is his conviction that most people are basically decent and reasonable. It doesn’t mean he can’t confront people who are seriously wrong, but it does result in guests who come away feeling they were treated respectfully, not just brought on to be a punching bag. There’s a sense of teamwork there, too: he’s quick to give due credit to his staff and crew, both on-screen and in pre-taping Q&As.

When it comes to Ravenclaw, there’s no denying he’s sharp, and is more likely to read a guest’s dense political memoir or well-researched history than to watch their movie. Not only that, it seems every week there’s another interview where he asks them to stick around another five (…or ten…or…) minutes. (You wonder how much he was holding back during the pre-thedailyshow.com days.) This is a guy who seriously relishes the chance to talk with smart and experienced people about the areas of expertise.

In cases where Jon has a fundamental disagreement with the guest, the extended interviews seem less like an indulgence and more like a compulsion: to wrestle arguments he doesn’t like down to the bare facts, in order to pin down their precise failures in logic. One time he brought in a whole new expert — which, granted, was a pretty pointed thing to do, but the focus remained squarely on the earlier guest’s data.

In general he proceeds with an almost naïve sense that people should come around once a hole is exposed in their logic, irrespective of any other factors (pride, stubbornness, audiences to pander to, etc). Years ago he was famously quick to snap when that didn’t turn out to be the case. He’s been sheepish about the incident since, and seems to have gotten more self-aware about how he should expect people to respond in these cases, but the idea of prioritizing anything above data and thoughtful analysis still doesn’t seem to come naturally.

My guess: Ravenclaw. As if the paragraph lengths hadn’t made it clear.

Friends of the Shows

Neil Degrasse Tyson is a Ravenclaw.

I don’t actually have any others in mind for this section; I just felt like pointing that out.

Further suggestions, as well as disagreements with any of the above, are welcome!

Last week on a thread about celebrity encounters I posted about working at The Daily Show and making Jon laugh, Someone asked me to do an AMA, so here I am.

If you don’t want to read the OP, here’s the short version. I was an intern in the spring of 2003, back when Colbert, Carell, Helms, and Corddry were there. Sam Bee was just getting hired as my internship was ending.

Because of my time there, and my interactions with, and at the insistence of, my co-workers, and because I made Jon and the audience laugh(that story’s in the OP), I decided to become a stand up comic. If there is interest I’ll post some of my stuff, but I figured you guys would be more interested in talking about the show.

Don’t know if this is significant enough proof, but on my first day there I was asked to be in a story called Puck Buddies I’m Wayne Gretzky.

EDIT : http://imgur.com/N1CQh Proof of that this is me.

EDIT 2: As requested here is a demo tape of me from a few years back. I’m working on a newer one now, but, as any stand up knows, it’s really hard to get a good demo tape off a set. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTDF2cnxljY I also helped write and started in a web series called Blood Light http://www.bloodlightseries.com/web/

EDIT 3: This is cliché but, holy shit, front page! Guys, seriously, thank you so much. The only thing I have planned today is seeing Avengers at midnight so you’ve got me for the rest of the day :)

EDIT 4: A lot of people are asking how I got the internship, so I figured i post the answer here. I went to The Daily Show’s website and found the address and when they were accepting applications. I wrote a cover letter and resume and sent it to them. It’s as easy as that. All shows have interns, if you’re interested in an internship with TDS, or any show, you should be able to find out the address and submission dates on their website.

FINAL EDIT: Seems like things are winding down, so I just wanted to say thanks again, the past almost 7 hours have been great. I hope I answered most of your questions throughly enough, and that you learned something, and, hopefully, laughed. This whole experience means a lot to me gang, and I hope someday that I’ll be able to preform for all of you and you can go, ‘Oh hey, I remember that guy from Reddit.’ Thanks again guys!

Question (bmxkeeler):
Did any of the guests get upset after an interview or just act like a prick all around?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Not that I saw. Everyone seemed to have a great time.

Question (m1garand30064):
What was Jon Stewart like off camera?

Answer (DarnJester99):
He’s the same as he is on camera. Just the nicest guy. The first day there, when they were showing the interns around, Jon popped out of his office. We all froze, cause it was Jon Freaking Stewart standing in front of us, and he just goes ‘Hey guys, thanks for working for us for free.’ Then he went about his business.

In fact, the day after the story that I was in aired I was working reception, and Jon comes in, sees me there stops by and said ‘Hey DarnJester, good job last night.’

Question (mdm1231):
I imagine Jon isn’t too different off camera, but Colbert is rarely out of his “character” or persona that he takes up on camera. What was Stephen like off camera?

Answer #1 (mofitz):
I interned at The Colbert Report, so I can speak to this one. In addition to being as brilliant and funny as you might expect, out-of-character Stephen is also incredibly kind. He learned all of the interns’ names and made a point of saying hi to us–I was the proud recipient of many Colbert high fives.

Answer #2 (andyyyyyymc):
I wasn’t an intern anywhere or anything, but my mum once went to a 4th of July party at Stephen Colbert’s house in South Carolina.

At the time she had absolutely no idea as to who he was, I think she’d been told he was a comedian but she had no idea about his whole persona and his show. She just said he was a really relaxed, nice guy.

Answer #3 (IAmSoThatGuy):
I also interned at Colbert and can say that Stephen is very different off camera. I still work in show business and have yet to come across someone of his star power that was as smart, funny, polite and hard working as Stephen. He is a family man and a great boss. I have never been more pleased to get coffee and move furniture in my life.

Question (doctorhuh):
Explains why you chose the user name you did. I’d cherish a nickname from Jon Stewart above all.

Answer (DarnJester99):
HA! Nice.

Question (supersharma):
Were you involved in the writing?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I wish. The only thing I got to do by the end was help in pitch meetings and the some of the producers asked for my help on research for there pitches. But honestly, I wasn’t that good of a comedy writer back then. Now though….

Question (FKRMunkiBoi):
Did you ever get used to the daily beatings?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Yes. I used to say ‘Thank you sir, may I have another!’

Question (Niallriver):
How exactly did you become an Intern, what was the process like?

Answer (DarnJester99):
It was actually really easy. I found out they had interns from their website, submitted a cover letter telling them about all the work I’d done in college, I worked at the student run TV station and had a show called ‘The Weekly Show’ (get it?), and how much it would mean to work at the show that inspired me. They called me up to NYC for an interview and it consisted of one question ‘Do you want to be an intern here?’ To which I emphatically said yes. And then the hired me. It was pretty simple.

Turns out, and I found out about this just as my internship was ending, that they floated my cover letter around the office. There was a contest to see if I was a stalker or not. Apparently my cover letter came off, to some, as a little intense and I-want-to-wear-jon’s-skin-as-a-coat-ish.

Question (DocShadeball420):
Did you meet any of the “correspondents” or guests, and if so…were any of them a jerk?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I met all the correspondents, at the time. And they were all great. Ed Helms even pulled me aside a few times to give me pointers on stand up. He was super nice. I don’t remember any guest being jerks, or if they were I wasn’t around them when it was happening. I did meet Joshua Jackson and Sir Patrick Stewart, Josh is tall, like 6’2″ and Sir Patrick, well he wasn’t a Sir at the time, I think, but it was just awesome to be around him.

Question (anexanhume):
Link to your standup please. Also, come on over to reddit.com/r/standup if you aren’t there already.

Answer (DarnJester99):
Was not aware of r/standup. I’ll be there shortly.

Question (bluemonkeys5):
How long did you intern?

What was the educational objective of interning at The Daily Show?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I was an intern for 5 months. Jan to May. It was the best 5 months of my life.

As for education…well I learned what it was like to create a comedy show daily. There are dozens of people working there butts off every day to make the show. Someone is always working on the next thing. Editors are always editing for tomorrow’s show. There’s a bunch of stuff that’s required that you wouldn’t necessarily think they’d need. I learned a whole bunch, and I loved every minute of it.

Question (PoetryTycoon):
What does John Stewart do during commercial breaks? I’ve always wondered about that…

Answer (DarnJester99):
Oh, well actually when they cut to commercial they actually cut to commercial. Meaning that the DJ, yeah there’s a DJ, puts on music and plays it real loud, and they go for how ever long the commercial break is.

While that is happening, a script guy will come up and hand Jon the next segment’s script. A producer will come up and talk to Jon about something, they’re always tinkering with stuff. Then the stage manager will call 10 seconds, everyone walks off stage and here we go in 5, 4, 3,…. (They never say 2 or 1)

Question (takevasiveaction):
What was your best experience working at The Daily Show?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Making Jon laugh. Check out the link in the OP, for my OP. By far one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.

In fact, I hope that I do ‘make it’ in my career, just so one day I can be interviewed by Jon and tell him the story. Jon is like my Carson. Carson was responsible for a lot of comics first big breaks, and they owe Carson for their careers and they’ve been able to tell him so. I’d like to be able to tell Jon the same.

Question (sawzall):
How much writing does Jon and the other on-air hosts do?

Answer (DarnJester99):
A lot actually. He’s in on the meetings, and obviously during the run through.

Question (Jolu-):
Could you describe the writing process? like when does it take place and how? Who selects the topics and how much influence does Jon have on it?

I hope my questions make sense since i really don’t know how stuff like that works…

Answer (DarnJester99):
This is actually pretty cool, and one of the first things I learned when I got there. I’ll try not to make it too long.

The first thing that happens in the morning is there is a huge meeting with everyone, and I mean everyone. The EP (executive producer) goes over what will be happening today, what stories they will be covering. So then everyone gets their marching orders and go about there business. Writers to start writing, PA to start gathering necessary clips or props, and interns get the food and fill in the holes.

The writers got a few hours, say if the meeting was at 10am, they got about until 2ish to get scripts and jokes to the head writer. Then they start putting the pieces together. Which jokes make it in, which don’t. Then they have to match stuff up with video footage. Then Jon takes a look at it. It’s about 4:30 now.

Around 5ish they have a full run through of the show. Just Jon at the desk and any correspondents that are needed, and the writers, who are sitting in the audience seats. It takes about 25 minutes to go through stuff.

Then Jon and the EP and a few writers put there heads together to see what worked and what didn’t. And make any final revisions to the script.

Meanwhile the audience is being loaded in to the studio. The script is being loaded in to the prompter, Jon gets last minute hair and makeup. The warm up guy goes out to entertain the crowd for a few minutes. And then it’s show time.

Question (Cash5YR):
Is Jon Stewart really as short as he seems on camera? I always feel like it is Frodo talking with Gandolf whenever he is interviewing someone over 6 feet tall.

Answer (DarnJester99):
He’s not Seacrest short, but he’s short. But you really don’t notice it when you’re around him.

Answer#2 (Sloppy1sts):
According to CelebHeights.com, Seacrest has an inch and a half on Stewart. Google’s guess gives him a full two inches over Jon.

Question (vswizzle):
How many takes does Jon or any of the correspondents need on average? Do you have any stories of goofs that made it on air? Thanks!

Answer (DarnJester99):
One. Seriously, these guys are good. And honestly, I wish I did have a story of them messing up, but even if they do, they cover it well. You’ve seen the show, they laugh at themselves sometimes when they slip up but they keep on going. I like it better than way, it humanizes the comedy.

Question (senor_queso):
Who was your favourite former co-worker?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Most of them are still there, but, honestly, if I had to pick one, it was/is Rory Albanese. He was a segment producer (he’s now the EP) when I was working there, but he was the one that really pushed me to do stand up. He went so far as to tell me ‘If you don’t get on stage in the next two weeks, we’re no longer talking to you.’ And so I did, and ten years later I’m still doing it.

But everyone there was great.

Question (HighViscosity):
Why have you failed at getting Jon to run for President?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I’m so sorry that I worked there in a non election year :(

Question (ServerGeek):
Did they give you any cool Daily Show schwag.. or books/videos/etc that guests gave to them?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I have a picture of me sitting behind the old desk. It’s on my parents fridge and there isn’t a digital copy or I would post it.
Speaking of, I need my parents to make a digital copy of that photo.

Question (scrotumnalequinox):
How were you qualified for the position or what were you told was your defining quality that made you the obvious choice?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Well an intern is really just a person who does the crap jobs; answering phones, making calls, getting food, transcribing video (that was the worst). I think it was really a desire to work there. There were other interns that were there that, for them, from my perspective, it was just an internship. For me though, it was the chance of a lifetime. I think that’s what they saw in me. Or, at least, that’s the story I tell myself.

Question (chops88):
How many people do they have working there who’s sole job is just to watch the news channels? Also, The Daily Show seems so good at pulling up random news clips from years ago, how do they keep track of everything? I’ve always guessed they have some an enormous database.

Answer (DarnJester99):
You’re right, they have a giant database. When I was there the video library was a bunch of book shelves, maybe 8 or so. And they have a system that logs what’s on every tape. So, lets say that we need to pull up a sound bit of Romney flip flopping, you go to the computer type in Romney healthcare and a list of videos with clips of Romney talking about healthcare pop up. Then they just pull the tapes, find the clips and edit away.

I’ve been to the new building a few times, the tape library is now enormous!

Question (stil10):
When they do the segments where they go out and interview people, are those people always real, or are they sometimes actors? Do the real people know what’s going on and are playing along, or do they actually think it’s a real news show? If the former, why do people agree to be on the show when they know they’ll be ridiculed?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Real. I know. Back when I was there I couldn’t believe it either. But people still haven’t seen the show, or understand what’s going on. So for the most part it’s real. Though most politicians have gotten wise to it. But at the same time I think the correspondents have also gotten better at being subtler with the questions.

Question (opiate46):
Since you were there with some of the greats (Colbert, Helms, Carrell) which one did you think was the best?

Also, any funny stories about these guys? I always imagined hilarity ensues wherever these guys go.

Answer (DarnJester99):
Thats like picking your favorite child. They were all great in there own way. Helms was closer in age to me so we got along great. Colbert was a rock star, just the nicest guy you could ever meet. And Carell, well Carell, and this is the about the time he was leaving, he was being pulled between both coasts, so I didn’t see him as much as the others. But he is the nicest, humblest guy. But when he’s on, god lord don’t make eye contact because your face will melt, he’s that funny. He doesn’t have to say anything and you’re already cracking up.

They were/are all awesome. And yes when they get together it is hilarity.

Question (Limin8tor):
Who’s funnier off-camera — Stewart or Colbert?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Hard question. Stewart is a stand up at heart while Colbert is sketch and improv. So two different disciplines at work.
That’s my way of being a pansy and not picking a side :)

Question (Tard__Muffin):
when it goes to the correspondents, they’re in front of green screens right?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Yup. They are literally 10 feet away from Jon.

Question (kamins89):
Who is the coolest or rather friendliest correspondent that works there? Where you able to have extended conversations with Stewart or maybe Colbert? How are they in person?

Also, what did you actually have to do when you worked there?
Finally, the obvious question, did you get paid? :D

Answer (DarnJester99):
Helms. He wasn’t as busy as the other guys, cause he was still newish to the show. We’d talk about stand up, and how he got started. He’s really awesome.

Question (trauma_queen):
How does Jon Stewart take his coffee?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Honestly, I have no idea. In my five months there I never once got anyone coffee. I bought the supplies to make coffee, but actually made it.

Answer #2 (BoBear12):
My best friend in New York used to work in an indie coffee shop that Jon Stewart would frequent before going in to work. She said he liked it milky – soy, too, if I recall correctly. She was (affectionately) amused that he liked what she called “girly coffee.”

She served him the day after the 2004 election results came in. He slunk in to his usual seat, laid his head on the counter, and didn’t move until she placed his usual next to his head. I believe she gave him that coffee for free.

Question (metal_falsetto):
Jon Stewart is great, no doubt, but I think the real heroes of that show are the folks who dig through all the media archives to find video from a few months/years prior in which the jackass du jour contradicts something s/he said recently. Can you give us a little insight on who these Daily Show employees are and how they keep ALL THAT MEDIA archived and catalogued, in order to pull it up within a day or so of current events?

Answer (DarnJester99):
You’re right, it does take a team to get the show on the air every day. I answered part of this question somewhere on here, but to go into it a little more: the library is huge, so they have a few PA’s, probably, maybe a intern or two, helping catalogue new video and updating the database. And digging through said database when needed.

After they find it, it’s up to the editors and the segment producers to put it all together. It’s a big undertaking and one that doesn’t usually get done until very close to show time.

Question (j3k16b94):
Sorry if it’s already been asked, but where did you go to college?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I went to Virginia Tech. Go Hokies!

Question (clippyclippyclopclop):
How long was your average work day? Was it a standard 40 hours or did they get as many free hours out of you as they could?
Also, what was an average work day?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I was there 3 days a week. I had to get there about 9am and I left after the show was done taping, which could be anywhere from 6:30-8. But usually I stayed later working on stuff. Like I mentioned before, I loved that place and the people there so it was never really ‘work’ to me.

Question (ReinQZ):
Was there work on days when the show wasn’t taping? Such as fridays or when they go on hiatus?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Good question. On hiatus, no, the place is closed down and there’s no one there except security guards.

On fridays though, it’s the day where they clean up after a week of shows. So things get catalogued, props put away, segments or packages for next week are being written or edited. It’s basically a catch up day, so all the work you couldn’t do during the week because of the show, can get done.

Question (skyreddit8):
Does Jon delegate the reading of all those books? Because there’s no other show on all of television that does book reviews, and reading all those damn books must be a task for 10 people.

Answer (DarnJester99):
I think so. They also had a lot of book give aways. At one point they had one hall just lined with books and a sign begging people to take them.

Question (griesuschrist):
How many hours/week would you say Stewert works?

Answer (DarnJester99):
He’s there everyday working on the show and other things that I wasn’t privy too. But he’s a hands on guy, he’s right in the thick of things. He has a lot of demands on his time but I never heard him complain about it.

Question (terwilliger):
Can you use your inside connections to get them to fix the direction of the earth’s rotation in the opening?

Answer (DarnJester99):
If the great Neil DeGrasse Tyson can’t do it, after repeatedly tell Jon, on air mind you, then I doubt an old intern from long ago has much pull. But if I could make it happen, I would.

Question (UsageWhore):
Does Jon ever reminisce about his time as a bar tender in the old nj venue City Gardens?

Answer (lionheartednyhc):
I was on the daily show a few weeks ago (for Rachel Maddow) and this came up before the show, during questions from the audience. I can’t remember what the question/answer was though, sorry.

Edit: just remembered. There was some story about a fight breaking out. In the fight, there was an officer who was off duty and apparently lost his weapon during the skirmish. After the fight ended, the officer went over to john and asked to get his weapon back. But he was trying to be quiet, because other officers were around and he didn’t want anyone to find out that he lost his gun.

Question (theshinepolicy):
Sometimes Stewart seems to use his comedy to cover up a deep anger about the world we live in and political squabbling, did he ever off camera just get really angry at politics?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Not that I ever saw. But I was there during the run up to Iraq, so the frustration was only really starting then.

Question (humankirk):
I read in a Colbert biography that interns at the Daily Show were responsible for supplying the writers with Lucky Charms every day. What were your daily tasks like?

I hope to intern with Jon or Stephen next summer. I applied too late this time =/

Answer (DarnJester99):
You are correct. Everyday I was there I had to make a run to the store to resupply the kitchen. There was a list of all the stuff that was needed, and Lucky Charms was the number one cereal on the list. Which was good because I ate a lot of it too :)

Question (Sir_Knight_of_Lights):
I’ve never understood it when people joke on people like Jon, Colbert and Conan about how they’d be nothing without their writers. It’s completely uncalled for. Yes, the writers are important. But the hosts aren’t mindless loudspeakers. They’re intelligent. They have to be.

Answer (DarnJester99):
I think what the guys went through during the writers strike, legal or not(however they did it), proved that they could handle it on their own if they needed to.

Question (thejurist):
I am too late to the party, but let me try nevertheless because this has been bothering me for a while now. An article in one of the Israeli papers described the experience of the reporter as an audience in the Daily Show. The reporter was not very objective and his general attitude towards John was very negative. This is fine and he’s entitled to his own opinion, but he also said that the audience was instructed not to look John in the eyes. He used that “fact” to support his general argument that John is a fraud.

Is there any grain of truth to this story? Maybe someone who was in the audience can illuminate this for me.

Answer (DarnJester99):
Wow, in all my time there I never heard that. That would be really weird. ‘Welcome to the show everyone, we hope you enjoy it, but before we start we’d like to remind you to not look Jon directly in the eye. For he is a sensitive creature, and spooks easily.’

Jon’s being doing stand up for almost 2 decades, it’s all about eye contact, it’s helps you control and interact with the crowd. From my perspective, though I haven’t read that article, it sounds like a bunch of poppycock.

Question (weirdal1968):
Did you ever get to work with Paul Mercurio (on or off camera)? Met him once in 2002 after his set at a Milwaukee comedy club. My brother wore his TDS shirt and Paul offered us VIP seats to a TDS taping. Thanks to him we saw the 2003 SOTU review show from the front row and my brother was in fucking heaven. You and everyone at the show are awesome.

Answer (DarnJester99):
I actually worked with Paul a lot. My demo tape, linked to in the OP, was from me opening for Paul. He’s great. Thanks for your kind words :)

Question (lilohse):
What was the internship for? are you an actor? Writer? if you are a Writer how does someone get into comedy writing? i am really interested in doing this

Answer (DarnJester99):
The internship was for general production, just how a show runs and operates. I’m not sure if there is such a thing as an internship for writing.

But if you’re interested in comedy writing, I suggest you start doing stand up. Stand up is the basis around which all jokes are based. I won’t get into the long winded details here, there are books for that, I read The Comedy Bible by Judy Carter (pick it up), but if you can write and tell a good stand up joke you can write any joke.

Question (kzbaxdg):
how the fuck was rob corddry? he’s my fucking hero

Answer (DarnJester99):
Great. High energy, fun to be around. And really nice.

Question (BabyInMagnetoHelmet):
A friend of mine got an internship at the Colbert Report. I dont know how he did it, but I have a theory about sexual favors. Could I ask what your major in school was? And any insights about the interview process there? I’m sure it’s changed since 2003, but it’d be cool to know anyway!

Answer (DarnJester99):
I majored in Interdisciplinary studies, basically I got three minors. But I worked for 3 years at our student run TV station doing basically everything. I believe it was that, and the fact that I really wanted to work there that got me the interview.

For the interview, it was more like a test to see if I was a crazy person. When I showed up in a suit and was well spoken and gracious they offered me the internship. I think I got lucky cause it seemed really easy from my end. I’m sure it’s got to be harder now a days.

But for advice, write a good cover letter, dress and act professionally in the interview, and just be yourself. Everything will work itself out after that.

Question (Illthak):
What’s the greatest thing that you feel you learned/experienced during your time as an intern there?

Answer (DarnJester99):
How hard everything is. I grew up thinking things just kinda happened for you. That you get into a college no problem, that you get a degree without really trying. That TV and movies just make themselves. But then seeing how hard people have to work to get to where they are, and how hard I would have to work if I ever wanted to be considered an equal and not just an intern. It was eye opening and really changed my outlook on life.

Question (AlexScrivbner):
Why is called The Daily show when the show isn’t daily?

Answer (DarnJester99):
It’s mostly every day. So it’s close enough. It’s no 22 Minutes from Canada, but it gets the job done.

Question (mxmxmxmx):
Just curious about the social aspect among the crew outside of work. After work hours did people hang out together? Or was it pretty much just socializing at work and everyone kind of went their own way after?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Well its usually a long day, so when it’s over people like to go home. But the production staff and crew did hang out outside of work a lot. We had softball, and parties, and people had shows they were in all over the city. While I was there, I saw the lot of them a lot.

Question (moleman262):
If you don’t laugh at all johns jokes, and bring him his coffee on time will he rip out your heart in front of the other interns to set an example?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I only heard “Kali Ma… Kali Ma… Kali Ma Shakti de” once coming from behind Jon’s door once.

Question (nawoanor):
Obviously Jon doesn’t have time to read all those books, hell half the time he hasn’t even seen the movies he’s interviewing people for. So I’ve always assumed he has people who read the books for him and then write a summary. Is that how it works?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Sometimes. The movies you can understand, who cares about the movies. But the books, or the interviews with the authors are more important. I never saw anyone give him a cliff notes version of the info in the books. But I think that there’s some truth to someone has to be helping him out with those longer tomes.

Question (twitchwitches):
Do you know my friend, emma bleach? Her cousin was an intern at the daily show last year and i never got to meet him. Did john stewart eat meals with you guys and bro around? Is he as awesome off stage as he is on?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Not really. You know that saying about something like you can be the leader of men, but you can’t be their friend. It’s kinda like that. You know he’s around and you know he’s a friendly guy, but it’s not like he has an open door policy where anyone can go in at anytime.

He did play softball with us once. And that was cool. And yes, he’s just as cool off camera as he is on.

Question (maxstolfe):
Would you recommend it for others? /// Who would you recommend this type of internship to?

Answer (DarnJester99):
10/10 would recommend.

If you want a job in production, or comedy in general, work at TDS. It’s hard, they’ll keep you busy, but everyone there is really nice, and it was a great experience that I’ll treasure forever. (please forgive the sappiness at the end)

Question (ryannayr140):
Does he look old without TV makeup?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Not really. He just looks like Jon.

Question (dedbodiez):
Do you get paid -at all- as an intern, or is literally only an ‘experience’ thing?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I got a stipend at the end. It wasn’t very much, so it wasn’t literally only an experience thing, but it might as well should have been. Not that I’m complaining.

Question (Weirdblastoise):
I’ve always been wondering about the catalog system that is used to bring up relevant news clips. Does someone have to sit down and transcribe all of them? Or even using clips from years ago, it seems like just a simple text search wouldn’t cut it if the topic isn’t specifically stated in any news reel?

Answer (DarnJester99):
It’s all keywords. I’m sure it’s gotten more sophisticated by now, but when I was there we had a list of key words we had to enter into the computer for each clip.

But really, news orgs have been using this system for years before TDS was around, and they’re just using the system that the news orgs took year to figure out a prefect.

Question (solyanik):
How much Fox News were you forced to watch every day? :-)

Answer (DarnJester99):
I wouldn’t’ say ‘forced’. But they were TV’s everywhere, with news on them all the time, so I saw more Fox News then I ever cared to watch.

Question (XDeus):
What’s in the swag bag that they give the guests, and are they usually all the same?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Candy. In my time it was a basket full of candy and other assorted treats.

Question (qwe2323):
My friend is interning at the Daily Show this summer – any advice for him?

Answer (DarnJester99):
First off, have fun. Secondly if he wants to get into comedy, watch everything. Seriously, keep your eyes open, you’ll learn by watching funny people think and going over jokes and working with each other.

Also volunteer for work. It gets you in the good graces of the people that are in charge of the interns, I believe they are the same people as when I was there. They are friendly, and nice, and will give you opportunities to do some cool stuff if you work your butt off.

Question (TheFriendlyTraveler):
How do the guest get picked? Are most invited or do they request to be on the show and how does John Decide who gets to appear?

Answer (DarnJester99):
it’s a combo of things. Some are invited to talk about specific subjects, which has been happening a lot the past few years. Others have books to push and then the bookers book those that Jon and the other producers decided they want on the show.

Question (inazuma):
Did you ever write any jokes that ended up getting into the show? How involved in the writing process were you?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I wish. I was more on the outside looking in. Which was good, cause having a bunch of professional joke writer tell a 23 year old kid, who couldn’t write a joke to save his life, that his jokes weren’t good, would crush him.

But watching them work was a great learning experience.

Question (JALsnipe):
Did you ever get to keep any tapes from the show? I have a few Kilborn era masters and promos from ’97 and a some Stewart era Joe Lieberman episodes from 2000 given to my dad as a joke (since our last name is Lieberman) before he left his position at Comedy Central.

Answer (DarnJester99):
My mom has a VHS tape of package I was in, the video I linked in the OP. I have a picture of me sitting behind the desk that’s on my parents’ fridge back home. That’s all I got….

Question (tylermez):
Did you steal a script? I really wanted to write a spec script of the Daily Show but I can’t find it online anywhere. If you did steal one (or got a really good look at one) How is it formatted/set up? Does Jon improv a lot of the time or is everything that he does pretty much to the script? And a final note, I’m fucking jealous.

Answer (DarnJester99):
I never stole a script, they would have been able to track me down in no time.

And the script is set up like any TV script ready for prompter. All caps and written on one side of the paper. If you want a script you can always transcribe an episode. Transcription sucks, but it’s an option.

Question (dougluss):
Please explain your least favorite day working there. Meaning, did you or other interns ever upset any writers/producers to the point of being fired?

Answer (DarnJester99):
No one got fired. But my worst day was the first pitch meeting I had. I found a story about someone claiming that Jesus was a stoner. Now to a 23 year old that’s comedy gold, to an Emmy award winning show on the other hand, not so much. I let me down gently, but I was still pissed.

In the long run though I learned a good lesson, I can’t take the easy jokes, and that if I want to play in the majors leagues I have to bring my A game. And end stupid sports metaphors.

Question (JerkyChew):
Have any interns you worked with gone on to bigger and better things? Writers for TDS or other shows etc?

Answer (DarnJester99):
One of the writers for the show, Ellott Kalan, was an intern on the show the semester before I got there. He got hired as a PA when I was an intern, he’s now a writer for the show. And he’s been on it a bunch. He’s really funny.

Question ():
Were you ‘hazed’ and if you were, how so? Anything exceptionally memorable?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Thankfully no. But I was new to the city and had to run around to get miscellaneous items a lot. So throwing a 23 year old who’s never been in NYC before onto the subway system with a list of things to get and handful of tokens kinda felt like hazing at the time.

Question (eyeballTickler):
Just curious, how many people total work for the show? Writers specifically? From what you’ve written, it sounds like there are always a lot of moving parts.

Answer (DarnJester99):
About a dozen writers or so. And yes, a lot of moving parts that somehow all comes together in the end. That’s why they have some of the best people working there.

Question (SeYaLaterDylan):
Who would actually win in a battle royale, Stewart, Colbert, or Conan?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Conan, purely based on size. The three of them have fought in the past, as we all know. But if there were to actually fight, Stewbeef would go out first, and Colbert and Conan would have an epic fight with Conan killing Colbert, but having only seconds to enjoy the victory before he died of his own wounds. :( So in fact we would all lose.

Question (WeTarScientists):
I know you were working there in 2003, but were there already hints that a Colbert show might be along the way? And also, what issues seemed to be on John’s or the correspondents mind’s the most at that time?

Answer (DarnJester99):
IRAQ! That was prime run up time to the war and it was crazy.

Also, no, at the time there were no indications that Colbert was getting his own show. He was the big man on campus though. Meaning that he’d been there the longest and with Carell about to leave there were people wondering what Colbert was going to do.

Question (AEtherSurfer):
What’s it like working with Jenna Kim Jones?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I’ve only worked with her in the Stand Up realm, as she was hired well after I was there. But Jenna is awesome. Sweet, funny, and a great person. If you haven’t seen her stand up, you should, she’s a lot different then the other stuff out there.

Question (Notmyrealname):
Does Jon do pre-interviews with the guests before taping?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Sometimes. They do have someone talk to the guest, figure stuff out, but Jon did talk to a few people. But sometimes, when there was a time crunch, Jon would be seeing the person for the first time when they walked out on stage. But that was a rarity.

Question (discokiller):
Ever meet Stephen Colbert?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I met Stephen before he was Stephen, or the Stephen that he is now on his show.

Question (MrsChimpGod):
You talk about how all of the correspondents & writers were so super nice & helpful & funny & kind.

Was there anyone involved with the show who was a complete dickhead?

Answer (DarnJester99):
There was a script supervisor, I think, that was kinda weird. He was definitely a S.A.P. So it was awkward a few times, and it may have come off dickish. But that’s the closest it got really.

Question (RITAPOON):
Best advice you got from anyone working there?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Once at a party Ed Helms and I were talking about stand up and how I was about get started and he told me the following (paraphrased a little) ‘Have you seen Comedian with Seinfeld? Remember Orny Adams? Well there’s a right way and a wrong way to do comedy. Orny was wrong. Just be like Seinfeld, just let it happen. Don’t’ force it. And don’t be a dick!’

I had seen the movie before this condo but hearing Helms tell what was up and how to go about it was amazing. I’ve tried to live up to that advice.

Question (lancehawks):
Jon jokes about it occasionally, but how much control does Comedy Central’s parent company Viacom really have over content that airs? If any, how is it exerted? Does the Daily Show try to avoid certain topics that they assume Viacom won’t like, or is there some actual submission to Viacom that must be cleared before an episode airs, or something else? Thanks!

Answer (DarnJester99):
From what I know, they don’t have too much. One job that the interns or PA’s had to do daily was physically take the script from TDS office to Comedy Central. What they did with it after it was handed off, I don’t know. But Comedy Central’s offices were pretty cool back then. I’m sure they’re cooler now.

Question (Keui):
How well did you know the greats you mentioned (Colbert, Carell)?

Would you go back if you had the chance (perhaps in a different role)?

It must have come up at some point: You and Jon are at the urinals. Did you sneak a peak? (I’m sorry for that question)

Answer (DarnJester99):
There were no urinals at the show, all single bathrooms. Really nice bathrooms by the way.

I would go back in a heart beat, if I could be a corespondent. :)

I didn’t know Colbert and Carell as much I would have liked, but I did interact with them enough that they knew my name by the end of the internship. (though they’ve totally forgotten me now :( )

Question (LM13):
Does Jon Stewart generally ad lib the interviews or are they more scripted? I ask because I’d like to know just how much of Stewart’s analysis of current events about his guests is his own opinion and knowledge as opposed to the collective writers. For example: the Jim Cramer reaming. How much of that was prompted by the writers or the producers?

Answer (DarnJester99):
I can’t speak to the Cramer interview. But they’re a combo of both. Jon’s very smart, basically everyone at the show is, so they do their research, they read the books, and then come up with questions depending on far they want to go with a guest.

Granted, they didn’t do that a lot when I was there, but, lately, you’ve seen Jon refer to his cards when he’s quoting or trying to make a factual point that he wants to make sure he’s getting right.

So in the end, it’s a team effort.

Question (zanmanoodle):
Being a political-comedy show, how often are politics and the like brought up outside of the show itself? I’m more curious about how prevalent it is than the specifics of anyone’s views.

On that note, is/was anyone there slightly less of the liberal persuasion than we might think?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Honestly it never really came up. The show is populated by a much of liberal leaning people, so discussion of it never happened cause everyone knew that everyone already agreed with them.

We would talk about the softball team or how many one-armed push ups people could do more than politics.

Question (ksmistry):
Would any of the celebrities make an effort to talk to you? Or was it just OMG I SAW A CELEBRITY?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Some interns were like that. I tired my damnest to remind myself that these are just people, people that have a job that you one day want, so treat them as you would like to be treated.

But Sir Patrick Stewart did give me a nerdgasm.

Question (professor_mcnutty):
What is your best Colbert, Carell, Stewart story?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Stewart story is my OP, sorry about continuing to refer back to that. But once Colbert and Carell started doing a Even Steph(v)en backstage during a rehearsal. They just kinda fell into it. It was amazing to be 7 feet away from these guys just having fun and trying to make each other laugh.

Question (j4handy):
I imagine that the production of the show is a lot like the production of South Park–a mad dash to pick topics, do research, come up with good writing/funny jokes, and finally taping the whole thing. Is it really a scramble to get each episode out, especially episodes that contain breaking news and events that happened that very same day?

How many people, approximately, are involved in the production of the show?

How many writers are there?

Is Jon involved (and if so, to what level) in the topic selection and/or writing process?

Answer (DarnJester99):
There’s got to be about 50 people there, at least when was there. I’m sure that number has grown.

As for scramble, not really. They have about 12 writers, plus the head writer, the EP, and Jon, and the corespondents there and everyone is incredibly funny. Over the span of 7-8 hours they have 14-15 minutes worth of material. It’s actually not that bad. And they do it every day, so they’re used to the pace.

But these are the best of the best we’re talking about, and they have the Emmy’s to prove it.

Question (shupyourface):
Are you bitter and jaded or proud and nostalgic about your time there?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Proud, because I achieved a life’s dream.

Part of me wishes I could be back there, but if I was I wouldn’t have a goal to reach for. So it’s better for me to be the starving comic, trying to carve out my own success instead of being safe and happy at TDS. It motivates me to keep working hard to create new and better content so that, one day, I can be an equal to the gang at TDS.

Question (rsolow):
What soft of interaction does the on-air talent have with the writing staff? Is it a collaborative writing process?

Answer (DarnJester99):
Yup. Some of the correspondents are writers themselves. Everyone was paired up and in different rooms. Comedy is better with teams IMHO. The teams work together to come up with stuff, then everyone’s material is thrown together to make the script.

Question (applevsandroid):
What do you think is biggest thing that you will take from working there? Experience or being around comedy genius? How did you get the internship?

Answer (DarnJester99):
The thing that I take from my time there is how much fun work is supposed to be. I’m spoiled now. Any work environment that I go into is no where near as fun as it was at TDS. I worked my butt off there, but it never felt like work.

I’ve always describe TDS as my comedy mecca. It stands for everything I think comedy should be. Smart, satirical, speaking truth to power, and fun. The show is like a family, and I had a really great time there.

In her cheeky memoir, Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek, Olivia Munn recalls being in the midst of a full-blown panic attack just before a 2009 TV appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. She calmed herself down by fantasizing about life as a mellow Mongolian sheepherder, carrying a staff and coming home to eat stew. “I would not go on television,” she writes of her paralyzing fear of talk shows. The strategy worked. She survived. And as far as fantasies go, it wasn’t all that far-fetched.

“I would love it, being nomadic, having fun,” says the 31-year-old actress. “I also like the idea of opening a smoothie shop in Anguilla where you can rent boogie boards. And if it’s your birthday, you get a free boost in your smoothie.”

Munn, in fact, is about to get a boost, though not in her smoothie. This summer, the voluptuous, raven-haired beauty is on the cusp of major stardom after climbing the Hollywood ladder as the one-time cohost of Attack of the Show!, a live TV program of pop-culture parody; featured roles in films like Sarah Jessica Parker’s I Don’t Know How She Does It; and a continuing stint on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She’ll also be unveiling two new roles: as a financial analyst in The Newsroom, Aaron Sorkin’s new television series on HBO about a cable news network; and as the sexually promiscuous, commitment-phobic girlfriend of Channing Tatum’s male stripper in Steven Soderbergh’s new movie, Magic Mike, a good portion of which was filmed in South Florida last fall.

Says Sorkin of his featured player, “In a lot of ways, [Olivia] reminded me of a female version of Rob Lowe on The West Wing—she plays a wonk who doesn’t know or doesn’t care that she’s good-looking. I’d seen her on The Daily Show, so I knew she was a world-class comedian, but it wasn’t until her audition that I saw she was also a world-class actress.”

The Newsroom is being shot in Los Angeles, where Munn has lived since 2004 (she now splits her time between LA and New York), while Magic Mike took her to Miami for the first time in her life. It was a revelation. “I thought it might be too overwhelming, all that color, exposed skin, and party atmosphere you get from TV,” she says. “But I instantly loved it. It was much more suburban, a neighborhood feel within a big-city energy, with that friendly mentality. You can party, but if you want to chill, all you have to do is go down the block.”

To party or to chill. A yurt or a manse. Caribbean smoothie shops or high-powered Hollywood agents. A whole universe appears to live within Munn, as might be expected from a woman who is half Chinese, half American WASP, who was born in Oklahoma but raised in Japan, and who was once hailed as the “Queen of the Geeks” for her role in Attack of the Show!—and who three years later found herself gracing the cover of Playboy (albeit a non-nude one). If Munn is now being seen as emblematic of the New Hollywood, it is because of her fearless ability to combine an unapologetic sexuality with antic humor. She once jumped into a giant chocolate cream pie dressed in a sexy French maid’s outfit in Attack of the Show! And as Joanna in Magic Mike, she portrays an empowered woman who turns the tables on her G-string-wearing boyfriend. It is he who wants the commitment, she who wants to be free to fool around.

Munn says that in creating Joanna, she was able to use some of her experiences with former boyfriends, a roster which has included actors Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, Matthew Morrison, and pro hockey player Brad Richards. “Like her, I don’t like to be forced into anything, particularly a forced intimacy,” she observes. “As Joanna says, ‘Sometimes you’re the girl and I’m the guy.’ I love that she pushes against the stereotype, that she refuses to stay within the box that people, especially other women, want to put her in. Joanna doesn’t shy away from all the parts of herself, including her sexuality. And neither do I.”

Solving the puzzle of how all those parts came together in Munn invariably starts with one woman, her mother, Kim Schmid, a prototypical Tiger Mom who was born in Vietnam but who with her large family fled the war and came, impoverished, to Oklahoma in 1975. Right out of college, Schmid briefly married Winston Munn, Olivia’s biological father, whom his daughter describes as “a good but selfish man” with little time for family. By the time her daughter was two, Schmid was remarried to a career military officer in the Air Force and the family moved to Japan for the next 14 years. It was a hellish period for Munn. She felt like a fish out of water, a tomboy unable to connect with her peers. Her stepfather, whom she refers to only as “the Devil,” was abusive, dictatorial, and demeaning.

“He would always say, ‘You’re not smart enough, pretty enough, you have no talent,’ and it would knock me down, but it wouldn’t keep me down,” says Munn. “My mom was blunt. ‘Don’t get pregnant.’ ‘Don’t do drugs.’ But she also said just as often, ‘Always make a name for yourself, don’t just become someone’s wife.’ That’s how she influenced me. I work really hard to come up on my own merits.”

It was also during this period that Munn learned to channel her anger at the same time that she was able to offer a respite to her four siblings from the increasingly ugly encounters at home. She discovered a burgeoning talent. “When [my stepfather] would be screaming his head off in the living room, I would hustle everybody into my room and launch into imitations of teachers or do scenes from movies,” she recalls. “And that would take their minds off of the hell that was happening down the hall.”

While in Japan, the family would import videotapes of classic movies and TV programs from the States. Munn says she fell in love with Rita Hayworth, Lucille Ball, and Chevy Chase, among others. “Chevy Chase was an enormous influence. I loved every single movie he did.” Later, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would become her heroes.

After her mother divorced her abusive husband, the family moved back to Oklahoma and Munn discovered that the only group with whom she felt comfortable in her junior and senior years there were the “geeks and nerds,” who would later become her fan base on the tech-crazy Attack of the Show! She says that the term “geek,” to her, simply means people who are “smart, really sweet, and passionate about what they like to do,” whether that means computers, the military, sports, theater, or television. She herself was most “geeky” about the latter two and, after graduating from high school, she begged her mother to allow her to go to Los Angeles to pursue a career in show business.

There was, however, no money, and her mother wasn’t keen to have her go off on her own at 18. So Munn attended the University of Oklahoma, majoring in journalism and minoring in theater. “With Asians, life is all about college, doctor, lawyer, scientist, but certainly not acting,” says Munn. “I’m glad now that my mom insisted I stay in Oklahoma. There is a sweetness and a pride there. People are really kind. But it was difficult. I found it very hard to find my place. That’s been true all my life. When you travel around so much, you have to keep reinventing yourself. And that toughens you up, gives you more tools to cope in life.”

Munn has needed them. By her own admission, she is “brutally honest.” In Suck It, Wonder Woman!, she castigates the good ol’ boy sexism of Hollywood, taking caustic, if anonymous, aim at a powerful film director who commits blatant and unprovoked indecent acts in front of her. After the book was published, Brett Ratner of X-Men: The Last Stand fame chose to identify himself as the target of her comic vitriol. He, in turn, took potshots at Munn but eventually backed down.

More recently, Munn’s cell phone was hacked and private pictures were published on the Internet. Rather than being in high dudgeon, she responded with self-deprecating humor and sarcasm. “If you ever hacked my phone, these are the pictures you’d find,” she tweeted, showing a fat Asian baby and a kitten. But Munn was most outraged when, after she was chosen as a correspondent on The Daily Show, feminist blogger Irin Carmon attacked the decision on the website Jezebel, suggesting that the show’s first female hire in seven years after exhaustive search came down to a woman better known for posing for the cover of Playboy than for her comedic chops.

“That was just malicious,” says Munn, casting her upfront sexuality more as a form of satire than seduction. “I’m not posing [for covers] for some man. I’m poking fun at the idea that a woman would embrace her sexuality in order to be liked. I trust the audience is smart enough to get that. So my only question to these bloggers is, ‘Don’t you want your daughters to grow up strong, smart, beautiful, and confident about their sexuality?’ Are you saying that you can only be funny and smart if you’re ugly? If the embrace of my sexuality makes you mad, it’s your problem, not mine.”

Describing herself as more of a “humanist” than a feminist, Munn says that she can only trust her instincts and let the chips fall where they may. She considers herself “beyond lucky” to be doing what she loves and to be able to support the causes she believes in, such as PETA, for which she posed in the nude. But while Munn realizes that she works in a medium that can have a powerful influence on changing the mores of a culture, she says that’s not why she’s in the business. “I think people downplay just how important it is to be entertaining,” she says. “Especially in this day and age. We need to laugh, we need an escape from what is going on. It’s always been a lifesaver for me.”

As difficult as it is to find good writing about religion, it is harder still to find good television about religion. Most televangelists do not do good (challenging, nuanced) religious television: one of their goals may be to educate, or win converts, but they have to raise money, and offering sophisticated portraits of religion is as likely to close people’s wallets as open them. Religious television series tend to be unwatchable: no Touched by an Angel for me. And talk-show hosts are rarely any better when it comes to religion. The skepticism of Bill Maher can be as simplistic as the basest prosperity gospel, and we should all be glad that the eager gullibility of Oprah is now quarantined on her own network. Except for public television’s Religion and Ethics Newsweekly, it is hard to find intelligent talk about religion on TV.

Except for Jon Stewart, that is. The secular Jewish comedian, host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, covers religion often, but more important, he covers it well. Stewart seems to genuinely enjoy interviewing religious figures, whether of the left (like Sojourners magazine’s Jim Wallis) or the right (like pseudo-historian, political advisor and textbook consultant David Barton). Some of The Daily Show’s best sketches deal with religion, and his writers and multi-ethnic cast — including one of the few recognizable Muslim comedians in America, Aasif Mandvi — frequently move beyond satire. They are often funny, but just as often smart.

Above all, however, Stewart and his writers do two things that make them unique on popular television. First, they cover — and yes, I would say “cover,” not just satirize or mock — a wide range of religions. If you watched only The Daily Show, you would nonetheless learn, in time, about Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and a whole spectrum of smaller faiths, a category that I would argue includes atheism. And second, they pay attention to points of theology that more traditional news and talk shows skip over. Using chunks of time that would be unthinkable on a network newscast — six minutes for a segment on Mormonism! — The Daily Show teaches the finer points of belief, mining them for humor but at the same time serving a real educational function.

Stewart comes at religion with buckets of derision, but I do not find him offensive, nor should anyone who enjoys comedy. Like so many of the best comedians, he is an equal-opportunity hater. Sometimes it’s atheists he cannot stand, as in his bit about the beams in a shape of the cross that survived the Ground Zero wreckage, which the American Atheists did not want displayed. Sometimes it’s the Catholic church, which last November proved a useful point of comparison for the football culture at Penn State: “I get that it’s probably hard for you to believe that this guy you think is infallible, and this program you think is sacred, could hide such heinous activities, but there is some precedent for that,” Stewart said, referring to coach Joe Paterno and the sex-abuse scandal. “Yeah, and just like with the Catholic Church, no one is trying to take away your religion, in this case football. They’re just trying to bring some accountability to a pope, and some of his cardinals.” In both cases, it was the culture of certainty that Stewart was mocking, not the belief system itself. It was the human tendency toward hubris.

But of course belief systems are fair game, too. In fact, Stewart and his writers have realized that good theology — getting people’s beliefs right — happens to make for good humor. Consider a bit that aired last October, in which Stewart interviewed cast members Samantha Bee and Wyatt Cenac on the differences between Mormonism and traditional Christianity. Bee, a fair-complected Canadian, was playing a Mormon, wearing a shirt that said “Team Mormon”; and Cenac, a black man of Haitian ancestry, was wearing a shirt that said “Team Normal.” Bee began by complaining about the tee shirts they were made to wear: “Why is Wyatt ‘Team Normal’? That implies that Mormons aren’t normal … We are not a cult. Mormonism is a proud religion founded by a great man who was guided by the Angel Moroni to golden plates buried in upstate New York that he placed in the bottom of a hat where he read them using a seer stone.”

Matters devolved from there. Team Mormon and Team Normal began arguing about which group is crazier: the one that believes Jesus was born of a virgin and the Holy Ghost, and that he rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven, or the one that believes all that plus the story that he then returned to Missouri. Jon Stewart intercedes, saying that both Bee and Cenac seem happy to suspend disbelief when it comes to the basic tenets of the New Testament. Both Bee and Cenac then take license to turn on Stewart, for being an adherent to a religion in which “it’s normal to hang out in someone’s living room and watch a guy with a beard cut off a baby’s penis while everyone eats pound cake!” (as Bee puts it). The bit is as comedically deft as it is religiously shrewd: how often do we catch ourselves rolling our eyes at someone else’s belief system, only to realize at the last second that we believe some crazy things ourselves? In that regard, Stewart is a stand-in for all of us, enjoying some fun at the expense of other religions until the gods of dramatic irony hold a mirror to his face.

And except for the fact that circumcision doesn’t involve the whole penis (“In my defense,” Stewart says, “it’s just the tip, and the cake is incredibly moist”), the dialogue is exceptionally accurate about all three religions: traditional Christianity, Latter-day Saint practices, and Judaism. The Mormons’ special underwear is played for laughs, it’s true — but the point is that Stewart and his writers convey more specifics about religious practice in less than four minutes than any documentary or nightly-news segment I’ve ever seen.

And the implicit message is one that religion scholars are always trying to convey: all religions have beliefs that seem bizarre to outsiders, and “cult” is often just a word to describe the other guy’s religion. The Daily Show approaches American religion in the spirit of tolerance, but not with the wimpy, eager-to-please hand-wringing that characterizes so much liberal dialogue in this country. Rather, religions are shown to be strange and possibly cringe-inducing: our job is to take an honest look, then tolerate them anyway. It’s a call to rigorous citizenship.

At some point, every one of Stewart’s regulars is called upon to represent a different religious group — Mandvi is often the Muslim, Cenac the Christian, and in one episode the Englishman John Oliver tries to claim Halifax, Nova Scotia, as a new holy site for Jews (“Challahfax” — although according to Mandvi, who is trying to claim the site for Muslims, it is pronounced “Halalifax”). The cast is like a merry band of religious satirists, with a joke for every faith playing in their repertory.

Stewart himself has said very little about his own Judaism, although he is clearly non-practicing by most any definition: he has gone to work, and recorded shows, on the High Holidays, for example. The writer Marty Kaplan tells the story of moderating a forum about why Jews who don’t believe go to synagogue on the holidays: “At one point, a congregant, without prompting, told the room that Stewart didn’t take the High Holy Days off,” Kaplan writes. “His tone was a mixture of anger and disappointment, the kind of sentiment someone might feel about a misguided family member.” And it so happens that I think Stewart’s humor might even be stronger, more durable, if it weren’t all quite so frivolous to him. For example, the writer Shalom Auslander, who was raised very religiously, is capable of a kind of enduring, deeply poignant satire that is beyond Stewart. Similarly, I suspect that Stephen Colbert, erstwhile Daily Show cast member and now host of The Colbert Report, has comedic hues that come from his Catholic religiosity, which he speaks openly about.

But if Stewart is himself indifferent to religion, he is clearly not bitter about it. There is no apparent ideology, either religious or skeptical, animating Stewart’s treatment of religion. More than anything, he and his writers have the scrupulosity of objective journalists. They win laughs without deforming, or even exaggerating, the religion’s actual beliefs. This is an extraordinary feat. Most religious humor, especially on television or in the movies, depends on stereotypes, which are by definition crude and reductive. Stewart’s writers, by contrast, find humor in the specifics of each faith. They would rather laugh at the finer points of belief than stick pins in some caricature. When they are especially fortunate, they can describe a faith through its antagonists — while making those antagonists look ridiculous. Here I am thinking of a segment from 2010, in which Wyatt Cenac interviewed a Muslim woman whose application to be a foster mother was rejected because she would not allow pork products in her house. He made the foster agency look absurd and bigoted, and he helped explain Muslim dietary practices to the audience.

Especially when taken out of context, disembedded from the civilizations and cultures in which they make sense, religious claims are frequently of the bizarre sort that no sane person ought to believe. Humor actually proves to be one of the best devices to help skeptics or the uninitiated talk about religion. And it offers a great litmus test for believers: how confident are you in your beliefs? After all, no confident believer should be afraid to chuckle about religion’s seeming absurdities — just as no mirthful human being should pass up the chance to laugh along with the unbeliever. The Daily Show has more fun with religion than any show on television — more fun, in fact, than many religious people have in their own observance. Jon Stewart may not be a believer —he did boast that he had a bacon croissanwich for Passover — but he is one hell of a teacher.

Lizz Winstead didn’t just create The Daily Show, serving as the show’s first head writer back in the Craig Kilborn era — she helped put both Stephen Colbert and Rachel Maddow on the map. She plucked Colbert from morning television (he was doing goofy little segments for Good Morning America), and she discovered Maddow on a morning radio show in Northampton, Massachusetts, then signed her for a political talk show co-hosted by Chuck D on Air America. This is all in Winstead’s new book, Lizz Free or Die, which shows how the Minneapolis native found her place as a feminist stand-up and political satirist in New York. (Watch the book trailer, below.) We talked to her about romance on the set of The Daily Show, what she thinks about Girls (everyone has an opinion), and wanting to be a priest.

As a kid, you decided you would become either a priest or a rock star. Why did you want so much attention?
I think part of it has to be the simple psychology of being the youngest of five kids. Five really opinionated children and two opinionated parents. You could barely squeeze a fucking thing in, at all. You just weren’t heard. I just wanted to have an uninterrupted time in my life where I could say something and nobody would change the subject or start talking or sit there and pretend they were listening when they were merely waiting to say what they wanted to say. And as a kid, the only people that I ever saw who could (a) do that and (b) didn’t have children, were priests and rock stars. It was less of a calling and more of — they were in a position to say things or sing things that compelled people to shut the fuck up.

The scene where you’re talking to the young hip priest about why you can’t be an altar boy — it’s like your brain doesn’t react to what he’s saying in a way that some other kid’s would have. Like you’re missing social cues.
When I heard something that doesn’t make sense … it’s almost worse for a kid. Because we still don’t have fully developed logic, like, Oh, you have an agenda. And so when I asked questions, I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. I was trying to solve the problem for both of us: “Well, that seems dumb. We can just call it an altar girl.” I wasn’t trying to be a rebel. I was just trying to make it work. I just fucking didn’t want to babysit.

You were a female comic when the unspoken rule was, to quote the male audience’s perspective in your book, “I’m fine with a woman onstage as long as her act reiterates how shitty she feels about herself.” But when was the turning point for funny women onstage? The alternative-comedy scene?
The alternative-comedy scene has played a tremendous role, and because it came in tandem with the internet. People could say, “Fuck it, I don’t need to do Letterman, I can make an amazing YouTube video.” The Internet allowed people to do that. And to be able to watch Livia Scott or Kristen Schaal, people who are living lives that are maybe off center and talking about it, it’s pretty great. But it was so bizarre to realize that even with my hackiest material, if I framed it in any way that was at all declarative, it changed the entire way the audience looked at me.

It still sounds like it’s hard to take a declarative stance as a female comedian. Even Girls is about self-deprecation.
It is. I’ve only seen the first episode — the second is on my DVR — but the assessment I have is that the characters are super realistic. And I’ve met all those women — they’re very real. But my problem, as I’ve watched their apathy unfold, the women feel slightly detached to me, and what’s interesting from an entertainment consumer’s perspective is if the characters are detached, how do I, as a viewer, root for someone or invest in someone? Because they’re not investing in life.

It was interesting to read that Comedy Central pretty much pitched The Daily Show to you.
Yeah! That’s right. That’s exactly what they did. I could never write down the feeling that I had when they started saying this to me. I could not believe that I was going to be part of this. I simply could not. It’s not often that people get their dream show as their first show when they’re not ready, they don’t have the skills, but there’s no way you’re turning it down. So you have to make up shit and make a whole bunch of mistakes because you don’t know what you’re doing. I was in constant panic mode.

Another thing I learned from the book is that Jon Stewart was actually your first choice to host The Daily Show. How do you think the show would be different now if he had been in the chair from the beginning instead of Kilborn?
When we launched the show with Craig, it was more in the vein of Colbert, where everybody was in character. Craig never broke character. So it probably would’ve grown faster into having Jon be this hilarious editorial man of the people surrounded by the nutty correspondents. It would’ve become that much faster. But we also just went with the media we were given. And at the time, it was a very different media back. So much celebu-tabloid crap and so much trial-of-the-century and all the newsmagazines and exploitative crap.

And I didn’t know there was some Broadcast News–style romance on the set. You and Brian Unger, whom you credit with innovating The Daily Show’s “cocked eyebrow style” on-the-field pieces, were a couple?
Yes! Brian Unger and I started out as boyfriend and girlfriend for years and then we broke up about a year in. Like I said in the book, we were both having affairs, but both the affairs were with the show. Brian stars in the book trailer. I’m not in it, so I can say it’s hilarious. And Brian is the best. You can go back and see those old pieces and see how influential his style was on that whole genre. He came from news and he was disgusted by news and was sort of terrified to leave, but he realized what he went to school for was never going to happen.

Unger was the first and maybe the best. But so many Daily Show correspondents have gone on to have huge careers, whether it’s Colbert or Steve Carell or Ed Helms. I interviewed Rachael Harris for Vulture a few weeks ago and we were wondering why The Daily Show hasn’t been the same launching pad for their female correspondents. Do you have a theory?
That’s a really good question. I actually don’t know the answer to that. Because there’s been hilarious, hilarious women. Because you look at Sam Bee or Nancy Walls or Beth Littleford, and Beth has a show on ABC Family channel, she’s had a nice career…

But she hasn’t had 100 million dollar movies.
That’s true. And you know, now that you’ve brought that up, I’m annoyed. Because a lot of women have been genius on that show and should’ve been launched into the stratosphere. And you know, I wonder if this might all change now that people are finally understanding that women are funny with Bridesmaids. But now that you say that, I’m realizing that it’s true. I wish I had something more interesting to say, other than that now I’m kind of annoyed.

As a producer, I met people whose political views I detested. The hardest part was admitting they weren’t so bad

For two years I was a field producer for “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart.” The field producer is the person who guides the creation of the pre-taped segments, the ones where the correspondent travels somewhere to interview and heartily agree with some person who holds, uh, fascinating ideas about the world. This meant I spent a lot of time with people whose causes or philosophies I found blecchy — the sort of folks who would fit nicely in the overlap of a Venn diagram whose circles included Bachmann supporters, fans of Rush Limbaugh, and people who wear tricorn hats and exercise their Second Amendment rights at Tea Party rallies. You know – assholes.

Now, I like to loathe people. It just feels so good. I particularly like to loathe the sorts of people described above, and when I see them on TV or read their blogs I sigh contentedly and say, ahhh, it is now morally permissible for me to loathe this person. So imagine how irksome it was to have to deal with persons like that on a constant basis and discover that those persons, in person, generally weren’t loathsome persons after all. In fact, to my great consternation and disappointment, I often liked them.

I think it really hit home for me with Rapture Man. This was in 2005. Rapture Man had set up a service that would automatically send out an email in the event of the Event, an email explaining the sudden absence of the exalted Saved (e.g., him) to the despised Unsaved (e.g., New York Jewish media professionals). I feel morally superior to people who feel morally superior to me, especially when they’re certain their name is on the heavenly guest list and mine isn’t. Folks like him. What I expected was Angry Seething Evangelical Crackpot. What I got instead was a man who was devastatingly guileless and vulnerable and innocent, a man genuinely distressed by the pain and confusion the Rapture would instigate. He was the type you reflexively want to protect, to shield from the cruel realities of modern life.

In this case, the cruel realities of modern life included him and his delusions being ridiculed in a “Daily Show” piece. If I had somehow been eligible for the Rapture before producing that segment, I doubt I was afterward. I felt a bit dirty. One the other hand, it was a very funny piece. You should see it. There’s Samantha Bee disappearing in a flash of light, Ed Helms running through a post-apocalyptic landscape, Stephen Colbert wandering around with bleeding nipples and apparently snacking on parts of Rob Corddry – a veritable “Daily Show” all-star apocalypse. Great fun. Also, I don’t think Rapture Man owned a TV, so I figured I was good.

But he was just one of many others in this I-Should-Hate-These-People-But-Somehow-I-Don’t phenomenon. There was the state representative in Maine who introduced a gay marriage bill just so he could vote against it. He turned out to be just sort of sad and lonely. Wanted to hate him. Couldn’t. There was the Canadian lady who despised her homeland because it wasn’t conservative enough and too kind to immigrants and the poor. She was raucous and funny and pretty good company. I felt awful when it dawned on her mid-shoot that we weren’t actually her pals (really – there was a moment in the middle of the sit-down interview when you could see her finally catch on and sort of crumble. I wanted to leap forward and say, “Wait, it’s not you we find risible and absurd! Just your entire worldview!”). There was the Arizona state rep who introduced a bill to let people bring guns into bars. He had supported other daft legislation, was supremely confident that his background as a golf pro qualified him to interpret the Constitution, and had really, really awful Republican hair. Hated him. Until I met him. Imagine an amiable and none-too-bright Golden Retriever that breaks everything – a bit annoying, maybe, but hard to hate. Who else? There was the well-known conservative strategist, a man famed for his Orwellian genius at manipulating language. He is single-handedly responsible for several of the most insidious and effective locutions in modern political history, terms that make me want to hammer nails in my forehead. And of course he was friendly and funny and smart and could laugh at himself, and there was a strange integrity to his lack of integrity. Hate fail.

And it wasn’t just individuals who would confound me. I would often contact extremely right-wing organizations and ask if they might perhaps be interested in participating in a segment. The response was generally no – probably the wisest choice – but on more than one occasion the person on the other end would enthusiastically inform me that they all loved the show and they watch it every day and what is that wonderful Jon Stewart really like?

By the way, the converse also held true: I’d occasionally meet people who were on the right side (that is, my side) of the issues, and they’d turn out to be insufferable jerks. You know – assholes. (A quick word to the wise: If someone shows up with a time machine and offers you a chance to attend a vegan potluck fund-raiser for Dennis Kucinich, politely decline. [Just to clarify: the congressman himself, delightful. His supporters ... yeesh.])

I recently discussed the topic with another former “Daily Show” producer, and her experience matched mine. She described spending a long day with Shirley Phelps-Roper, the spokesperson for the Westboro Baptist Church – the ones who spread light and joy in the world by doing things like picketing military funerals because, you know, the gays. You’d be hard put to find a group of people with more hateful convictions. And what was it like dealing with Shirley? She was warm and affable and lovely. She lent my friend a wool cap because it was so chilly out.

OK, yes, that’s an extreme example. Being a friendly person doesn’t excuse heinous beliefs or deeds – I’m sure there were plenty of pleasant Klan members, and Hitler loved dogs and so on. But surely there’s a middle ground. We can disagree over the best way to provide healthcare, or what optimal tax rates are, without assuming that the person on the other side of the argument emerged steaming from Satan’s fundament. I might, for example, find Rick Santorum’s views and rhetoric repugnant, but I bet if I spent time with him or his supporters, they’d turn out to be honest citizens and good company.

I don’t think that the lesson is that we’re all basically the same and everyone is wonderful and let’s hug. I will admit that the lesson might be that I’m easily gulled or just morally promiscuous, willing to drop my analytical knickers at the hint of a smile or a charming Southern accent. What I’m hoping the lesson is: People are complex and can hold different views and still be moral actors — essentially the message that Jon Stewart talked about during his Rally for Sanity.

Maybe you already grasp that concept, because you have good friends or loving relatives with beliefs that are wildly divergent from your own. But I tend to think my experience is more typical: I lived in a little bubble surrounded by people who think more or less like me. And when I considered people with opposing viewpoints I would turn into a fabulist, concocting an entire narrative of who they were and what they were like — and what they were like was yucko. Because I was not really interacting with them. I just thought I was, because, hey, look, there they are on the TV, or there’s that guy’s post in the comments section. But that stuff doesn’t count. Meeting people counts. Talking counts.

So yes, I love to loathe people, but my “Daily Show” experience complicated all that and sort of spoiled my fun. When I’m exposed to views that I dislike, I try to remind myself of the human being behind those views and to cut that person some slack. I hope that they would do the same. I think we should all fight hard for what we believe in, but I’d like to put in a request for some general slack cutting – especially as we move deeper into what is sure to be a very heated campaign season.

No, of course I was kidding about Rick Santorum. I’m sure in person he’s an obnoxious cretin.

Good evening, and congratulations my fellow influencers. How is everyone feeling this evening?

Oh, come on, you could do better than that? Look at this room. Look at this people. Look at the view. You are the TIME 100, and we are better than other people. I’ll say it, it’s just us chickens. No one is live blogging this, right? You’re on your honor. And I don’t know about you, but it is such a relief to be away from the kind of riffraff who aren’t influential enough to make the list. People like the Pope and Oprah. The Poprah.

You know, it’s actually a bit dangerous to have this many influential people in the room. What if something should happen? It would wipe out the world’s supply of influence. That’s why some members of the TIME 100 are not here tonight, we have sequestered Warren Buffett and Viola Davis and in an undisclosed location in case we need to repopulate the world with influentialness.

That’s right, Warren Buffett made the list. You know, who didn’t? His secretary. That’s why he gets to pay less in taxes, he earned it.

But we’re not just icons tonight. According to TIME, we are also breakouts, and pioneers, moguls, and leaders. So remember, tonight, don’t forget for mingle outside your category.

Moguls, hook up with the pioneers, see if you can make a monguneer.

It would be fun to watch. I don’t want to brag, but I happen to be on the list for the second time.

Anybody else? Show of hands? Anybody else, the second time? We are an elite club. One more and we get a free hoagie.

Secretary Clinton was on the list for the seventh time. She had to leave earlier. Still is an honor to have met her. She’s a feminist icon, a role model for so many women. Like the one young woman here tonight who bravely stepped into the media spotlight this year, and was immediately labeled a slut. I’m talking, of course, about Chelsea Handler.

Chelsea, you handled that with such poise. The horrible, horrible things that were said about you, tramp, gutter skank, and a lot of those were you talking about yourself. Brava, madam, you’re a feminist icon.

Also, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke is here tonight. Also an instant, instant feminist icon. Famously tested, testified before Congress, that Georgetown, a Catholic institution, should be required to provide insurance coverage for her birth control.

Now, TIME 100 honoree, his eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan disagrees — sir, lovely to see you again.

Of course, now some, some critics have said in response to this that if the Catholic church’s insurance does not cover Sandra Fluke’s birth control, it shouldn’t cover Cardinal Dolan’s Viagra.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, that’s called celibacy plus. That’s how the pros do it. Because chastity is one thing, but it shows true commitment to uphold your vows when you are sporting a crook you could hang a lighter on. Oh, wow, see you at mass on Sunday, sir?

I hope he doesn’t become Pope.

I’m a Catholic, it’s okay. I go to confession, it will be fine. Thank you.

And I am so happy that the TIME 100 included a true Christian role model this year, his holiness Tim Tebow. Is he here? Is Tim Tebow here, anyplace? Is he not?

Well, that just proves that they really shouldn’t put Jesus on the list because, according to Tim, he did all the work, and you know, you know Jesus would have shown up to this dinner. Jesus loves Louie CK. He does, Louie. Jesus loves you. And he is always standing before you. And he’s waiting for you. Open the door. Let him in, Louie. Let Jesus in.

He’d also like to you masturbate less, or at least stop talking about it publicly. You have children. Okay, would you think about it? Okay.

Of course, all of us should be honored to be listed on the TIME 100 alongside the two men who will be slugging it out in the fall: President Obama, and the man who would defeat him, David Koch.

Give it up everybody. David Koch.

Little known fact — David, nice to see you again, sir.

Little known fact, David’s brother Charles Koch is actually even more influential. Charles pledged $40 million to defeat President Obama, David only $20 million. That’s kind of cheap, Dave.

Sure, he’s all for buying the elections, but when the bill for democracy comes up, Dave’s always in the men’s room. I’m sorry, I must have left Wisconsin in my other coat.

I was particularly excited to meet David Koch earlier tonight because I have a Super PAC, Colbert Super PAC, and I am — thank you, thank you — and I am happy to announce Mr. Koch has pledged $5 million to my Super PAC. And the great thing is, thanks to federal election law, there’s no way for you to ever know whether that’s a joke.

By the way, if David Koch likes his waiter tonight, he will be your next congressman.

Craig Newmark is here someplace. Craig Newmark, there you are, Craig. Nice to see you again, my friend, founder of Craig’s List, recent TIME 100 honoree.

This year Craig’s List made the decision to no longer accept prostitution ads. It was the right thing to do, though, of course — no, give it up, it was the right thing to do. Though, of course, it was hard on the Secret Service.

They left with Secretary Clinton, right? Good. Okay.

Of course, the founder of Huffpo, Arianna Huffingpo, is here, looking down on all of us lowly TIME 100s, as she silently strokes her new Pulitzer in her mind.

Interestingly enough, the Pulitzer Committee did not give out an award for fiction this year, which is surprising since both Rumsfeld and Cheney released there memoirs.

Fans of those books, are you?

Arianna, of course, is the fun table. She’s sitting with Elie Wiesel, always a good time. I want to party with you, cowboy, or at least look for meaning in the Godless universe. Either way, I’ll be drunk.

One of my favorite comedians, Kristen Wiig, is here tonight.

Kristen, congratulations on the TIME 100. Lovely to see you.

Her movie, Bridesmaids, huge success, and proved once and for all to the Hollywood boys club that women can have explosive diarrhea, too.

You are a feminist icon. Brava, madam.

But perhaps the most influential person on the list is here, Sara Blakely. The inventor of the Spanx. Give it up.

No one, no one has done more to control women’s bodies, except maybe Cardinal Dolan.

Cardinal, congratulations, sir, you are a feminist icon.

Anyway, it is a true honor for all of us to be on the list, and a great business decision by TIME because given the state of the publishing industry, this might be the only way to guarantee selling 100 issues of a magazine this week.

Oh, and thank — for the first timers, remember to keep your TIME 100 pins, it gets you 15 percent off of any hot entree at participating Applebee’s.

Thank you, everyone. Congratulations to you all, and good night.

Jason Jones already has a busy schedule with his work as a correspondent on “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart.” He will soon add a few things to his plate.

“I have three very active things that could very easily become a reality and could also very easily just die a horrible death,” the actor-comedian told CBSNews.com.

One job that has already taken off is Jones’ stint as a “well-endowed man.” And it’s not in the way you may be thinking. Jones is helping distribute cash “micro-grants” to men pursuing various goals. It’s all part of a new online social media campaign with Edge Shave Gel where men can submit a photo and description of why they could use some extra cash and what they plan to do with it. As “Edge Fund Manager,” Jones helps identify “everyman heroes” and give them the tools needed to get “their edge in life.”

Helping people get a head start is the reason why Jones signed on as the face of the campaign, which runs through June.

“I’ve been very fortunate in my life. I have a great job. I am a well-endowed man, I guess you can say — monetarily. Not the other way at all,” he joked.

Jones also recently filmed a part in the upcoming movie, “The Black Marks,” hitting theaters in 2013.

“It was great because I got to sit in a car with the great Terence Stamp for about two weeks,” Jones said. “We played sort of cop partners in the movie and we were hot on the trail of Kurt Russell and Matt Dillion and Jay Baruchel– the bad guys. It was awesome hanging out with Terence Stamp for two weeks.”

When asked whether he wants to pursue more movie roles, Jones said, “If Hollywood would give me the chance, yes, of course. Who doesn’t want to be in the pictures?”

The Canada native wouldn’t be the first “Daily Show” correspondent to move on. Steve Carell, Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert and Rob Coddrey all came before him.

Meanwhile, Jones is looking at a busy “Daily Show” season with the upcoming presidential election.

Jones, who joined “The Daily Show” in 2005, says this election is a little quieter compared with 2008′s race.

“There was the whole Obama/Hillary — who’s it going to be right until June,” he recalled. “And now we’re in mid-April and we know who it’s going to be. If you like that fun, you have 200 days of it starting now.”

But that doesn’t mean there’s a shortage of sketches and material.

“I think there’s always something,” he said. “With as much media as there is out there, there’s always something that someone says that’s stupid that you can make fun of.”